I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
