doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
