i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
