Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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