You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
