I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
