He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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