It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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