my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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