Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
