Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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