I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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