I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
