So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
