well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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