I wanna passion pit in your ass
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize