Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
