I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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