Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
