Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize