yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
