Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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