I have demons in me.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
