Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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