I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
