first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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