i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
