Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
hell yes lets make some ravioli
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
