She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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