I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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