garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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