3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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