I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
