she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
