I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The convent might be a nice break from real life
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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