dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
