it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
