fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
