Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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