Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
