you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
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