do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
