Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
NoShamevember. You game?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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