Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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