I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
