I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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