I want to have your abortion
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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