so that wasnt chicken after all
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize