My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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