sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The uberlube is also flammable
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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