I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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