so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
