It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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