My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
