i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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