he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
