Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
