Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
