Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
