After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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