you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
