he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Terrible idea I love it
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
