Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My first STD was from a foam party
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
how do flat chested girls get laid?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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