Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
