Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize