Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
