my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
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