Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
