Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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