I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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