I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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