Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
