turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
