I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
