she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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