why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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