I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
