He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
