Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
